The 10 day commitment.

Infatuation, sexy-time, conflict and resolution to a 10 day writing challenge on substack.

Sometimes we hear a calling that not only grabs our attention, but turns our whole focus towards its source.

Sometimes its so strong and feels so right that instead of umming and ahhing and googling and thinking and rethinking, we just start moving.

We don’t need to see the whole picture or the path laid out, we just intuitively and actively move.

This happened to me in 2015 after a nervous breakdown on the workfront and a relationship breakdown on the homefront.

I was 25, cracked and broken. It was a lonely and confusing time. But I heard a call and clearly understood I must get on a plane from little Perth Australia and fly to Lima Peru to spend 2 months solo travelling, meditating, volunteering, drinking ayahuasca and living with dark scary jungle beasts. It was a first coming of age.

The same electric energy has gripped me recently and I’ve been turned around hearing a piercing call. Some strong all-knowing something is pushing and pulling me to ‘Get-Sh*t-Done!’

To rally! To take extreme accountability for my life because it is finite and I don’t want a moment wasted. Somehow working in an emergency department and seeing death every day in all its forms didn’t even give me this pointed a wakeup. Having a baby and choosing to be completely responsible for the quality of my life and thus his, has made the conditions right for me to open my eyes and get a move on with living my best life. Right now.

In this accountability and rallying for my best life, somehow through a series of pulled strings and algorithms I stumbled upon Substack. And for reasons, decided that I must and will write something of substance and publish it daily for 10 days.

Selfishly, it’s been more of a commitment to output and publish as opposed to actively helping others. To run the gunk out of an unused tap before the water clears. I wasn’t aware of this until I was and now feel a huge responsibility to flip that around.

Anyhow its day 10 today. The process has been befuddling, just like my writing. The outcome has been clarifying. It’s been like a romcom. Girl meets boy (substack), flirting (reading), infatuation and sexy-time (writing) etc etc. Then some heartfelt music and a montage for the conflict section (writers block and some self deprecation) and now a resolution.

Here is what the 10 day commitment imprinted on me.

Stick with your commitment, be kind to yourself and respect the process.

We owe it to ourselves when we make a commitment to follow-through. This is a form of self respect in itself.

We can’t predict the opportunities that might present themselves when we show up and do the work we committed ourselves to. If we’ve made a commitment, this indicates we believe theres high value involved in it. We cheat ourselves by not finishing what we start. By second guessing or piking out. Go in, go all in.

Writing for 10 days might seem small to another but for me with no writing background and wrangling a toddler, this has been a challenge. And a hugely gratifying one.

In all that I’ve written I can clearly see where it falls short, what is of value and what could have been cut or needed more time to marinate.

But more than that, it’s given me hope that i can do hard things and can learn new things. That i can grow, change and pivot. And that writing here daily on substack has value, but not as much as enjoying the delicious chapter of toddlerdom and family life im currently in.

So it’s back to weekly posts from yours truly.

We must be kind to ourselves and know when to rest or put something down that does not serve us. But we also need to listen for those things that truly matter to us and not make excuses or de-prioritise them for fear of perceived failure. Whatever our personal commitment is, our self-respect hinges on our ability to follow through.

As for this voiceless call and fast-vibrating energy actively moving me forward, I’m not sure where the path leads. But I’m awake and ready to confront and embrace my own dark scary jungle beasts face first, terrified and excited. I’m rallying for a more conscious and connected life for myself, my family and hopefully with enough directed action, a much broader community.