Cancelling limiting beliefs we didn't know we had.
If you look for red cars, you will see red cars.
We as humans are our biggest limiting factor. We stand in our own way without realising it and then complain something is impeding us. If our awareness sucks, we might blame something or someone else. And if our awareness tells us we are our problem we still might be pretty unclear on how. Sometimes it’s not plain how we’re in our own way or how exactly to move aside.
I’m late to the party and only recently checked out Tony Robbins noting these 4 basic limiting beliefs.
I don’t have time.
I don’t have what it takes.
I’m not strong enough
I don’t deserve ‘XYZ’.
Do any of these strike a nerve or tickle a tender spot? Reading these pangs a little wound I’ve had probably forever that I didn’t even know was there. Some wound or other from some experience or lack thereof. Which then formed a limiting belief unconsciously that for whatever reason persisted.
Where the heck did you come from? Wasn’t aware of you always hanging out on the periphery sending me subliminal messages that affect my perception of myself and reality. But now i see you and i can’t unsee you.
How can we cancel limiting beliefs we didn’t know we had? With questioning and awareness for starters. You get used to smudged vision when you’ve been looking through dirty glasses so long. Maybe it’s time to have a closer look at what limiting beliefs you have been viewing your world through. Someone get the butchers paper and markers, time for a brainstorm session. Or maybe some deeper reflection with a journal.
Limiting beliefs encompass any thoughts or ‘truths’ that you don’t or haven’t questioned, and that stop you moving toward your vision for yourself and your life.
Unpacking and Cancelling the common 4:
I don’t have time.
Saying ‘I don’t have time’ just means ‘it’s not a priority’. So this limiting belief is really one of checking what you are prioritising. Do you actually care about what you’re currently choosing to prioritise? Are the priorities you’re focusing on creating or moving you closer to the life you want?
I don’t have what it takes.
If your life is not the life you want…you probably don’t have what it takes, YET. But you can learn. One step at a time, climb one wrung on the ladder then the next. If you fall down, get back up. Move forward towards the life you want by learning and actioning what you learn.
I’m not strong enough
This is a little trickier to unpick. Review the evidence. What are all the tough, gritty, challenging, defining things you’ve done? When did you stumble or faceplant and pick yourself up and try again. If you don’t have evidence of prior strength, it’s time to pursue some. Starting small, take the little actions that are part of a well thought out bigger system, that functions for a specific outcome.
I don’t deserve ‘XYZ’.
This one might be the most difficult to wipe clean. There’s no obvious objective cancellation policy. Maybe delving into the murky waters of past traumas and finding gunky half decayed clues would help. Maybe not. I’m not sure. Its deeply personal. It is a feeling though. Like all feelings we can choose to feed them or not feed them. We can choose to behave and act in a way that moves us towards our goal or vision regardless of the feeling. With enough action and behaviour in the direction we consciously choose, the evidence stacks. And maybe we choose to start believing we do deserve to get to ‘XYZ’.
So now what?
There was some chick on a youtube short recently who was talking about red cars.
She said ‘Did you see any red cars on your way to work?’
Other person ‘Not sure, wasn’t looking'.’
Youtube chick ‘If at the beginning of your drive i said to you, count how many red cars you see, you would likely see more whether you counted them or not.’
Other person ‘Yes, makes sense.’
Youtube chick ‘If i incentivised it and said, for every red car you see i’ll pay you 100 bucks, you’d probably get more focused and see more.’
This cuts through on multiple levels.
If you look you will see. If you look for red cars, you will see red cars. And if there’s an incentive to see certain things, you will likely look harder for them and see them more.
Sometimes the incentive is just your ego wanting to be right and be validated. Any belief you hold can be incentivised by an over-enthusiastic ego wanting to be right.
It’s one thing to reflect and get familiar with your limiting beliefs. How else can you dismantle and discard them. We must also ask ourselves if we are perpetuating our limiting beliefs because our ego wants to be right?
What absolute truths have we formed and then tricked oneself into nurturing? Do we want to cancel our limiting beliefs or change our absolute truths? Or not?